I am going through an interesting period of my life right now where; between normal adulting activities, parenting, new hobbies (Blacksmithing for me), regular amounts of "Story Brain" (Where my head is full of stories I need to write down), and obligations related to extended family, I have not had much of any time or energy to devote to language learning. Yes, I could probably work in a Duolingo lesson or drops if I really wanted to... But don't judge; Life happens and sometimes you lose your way in the dense forests of life. If/when this happens, what do you do? How do you find your way back to your language learning path?
First, and perhaps most importantly, do not beat yourself up. Let me say that again. Do not beat yourself up if you have lost your way. Let's face it, for most people language learning is not one of the main activities of life. If your life is such that language learning is the focus of your day, good for you! I wish I had your career and/or lifestyle. For the rest of us, Life sometimes just pushes other things out of the way. My biggest example of this are the six or seven books I have partially written in my documents folder. As much as we would like to focus on the things we want, life does not always cooperate, so don't get down on yourself for losing your way.
The way I see it there are two big obstacles to returning to your language learning journey - Time, and motivation. We will tackle each one individually.
Time - Time is a finite resource. For me time is by far the trickiest obstacle to my hobbies and dreams. As much as I hate to hear it when life is giving me the crunch, you probably do have five minutes a day to study your target language, even if you don't realize it. Examine your day to day life. How long do you spend playing silly games on your phone? How long do you spend watching Netflix? Haven't found any time? Do you bring your phone into the restroom with you? I bet you could find five minutes to study there.
Here's the thing about time, people; We all have the same amount. You, me, Elon Musk, Adam Savage, the homeless guy on the corner and the CEO in the penthouse apartment. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Sometimes thinking about that fact blows my mind. I struggle to find time to study Norwegian for five minutes a day and there people out there launching things into space, writing symphonies, novels, plays, curing disease, inventing things, discovering new physics, and learning several languages at once... Do I suck?
No, not really, but it is all about how you choose to spend your time. If you are like me, much of my time is already spoken for by life, adulting, jobs, family, friends, and other obligations. I have precious few minutes a day in which I can spend working on my blog, my novels, my target languages, my blacksmithing, and other things I may want or need to do.
The way to get control of your time is to first examine how much time you actually have. If you want a really crazy exercise that will give you an exact Idea of what you spend your day doing, keep a bullet point journal that records what you are doing every fifteen minutes. I think you will find, like I did, that you have more free time than you think. Once you have an idea of how much time you actually have, start small. If the thought of focusing on your language learning for a big chunk of your newly found free time gives you anxiety, start with 1 minute of language study. Learn a new word or make a flash card. Work your way from one minute to two, then three, and so on until you are back on the road to language mastery. I cannot stress enough that you shouldn't get down on yourself for having slipped. Feeling down about yourself is the most toxic thing you can do for your language journey.
Motivation - I have worked for many years with individuals who have special needs, mostly in schools but also in group homes and behavioral therapy. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from my work with these amazing folks is that motivation and patience are also finite resources. Have you ever arrived home from work and found you have zero motivation to do anything more than sit on the couch and do something that requires as little of your brain as you can get away with? I know me too... Well that is because you have exhausted all your motivation and patience for the day. It may seem simple or obvious, but think about the ramifications. You have a finite reserve of motivation in a day. Once you use that up you are "Just done" unless someone can give you some extra motivation. We call that inspiring someone. Many times working in schools with children who have special needs I have found myself in a situation where the child I am working with comes to school already in that "done" phase. Between possibly a rough morning, loud bus ride, missing breakfast, and arriving to school only to be wisked off to class where we try and get them to do tasks they do not necessarily want to do in the first place; it's 7:55 AM and they are done. How we provide motivation for these kids who are just done is something we can use on ourselves too. We provide immediate rewards for small tasks, which bolsters their motivation. We lower demands put upon them until they can handle more. We lay on the praise and positive vibes until they have a level of motivation they can work with for the rest of the day.
So how does this work for you? Start small. Just as with time, you can't have it all at once. Set small goals for yourself with small rewards you can cash in on immediately. with a child who is in the "done" phase, I won't ask them to do math, or letters, or anything school related. For the child who is "done" I start with something like giving a high five; or "Touch your head." And when they give the high five or touch their head I praise them as much as if they had just done the most amazing thing ever! In this phase there is no such thing as too over the top.
For you, think about something small and quick that you really enjoy. Study your language for two minutes and then give yourself a small piece of chocolate, or a gummy bear. After a while, when you have the two minute study down, increase the time to five, and increase the reward to two gummy bears. Go slow, very slowly. Regaining your motivation to learn languages is a much slower process than getting lost in the first place was.
It can even be more simple than that. When I was in Third grade I began playing a game with myself during the school day. If I, in the course of doing my work, wrote a particularly perfect example of a number or letter; I would give myself a little 10 or 15 second brain break as a reward. It was just something to motivate myself and celebrate my little victories. I played this game even up into college. Use things that you like to motivate you to study. Set aside one type of treat for your study reward, and only allow yourself to have that treat after you study your language.
Finding inspiration is an equally important part of regaining your Language path. Oftentimes you will have fallen off the trail due to burn out, or negative feelings about things. In this case you will need some help jump-starting your motivation. There are a few things I do in this regard.
Set your phone up to be in your target language. This really only works if you have enough in your target language to not get hopelessly lost in your phone, and if your phone will allow for your target language. I have a Google Pixel so that's not an issue for me. If you can do it, do it. It will be a little reminder in the back of your head that you have some language back there. When your GPS spits out "in 300 feet, make a left" in your target language and you understand you can celebrate that little victory. This also has the added benefit of delaying the atrophy of your language skills due to disuse.
Seek out media content in or about your language. I can't tell you how many times I have been saved from quitting or taking a break because I happen to watch a YouTube video by someone who is fired up about the language I am working on. Other people's enthusiasm can be a huge boost for your motivation, so seek out those positive voices.
Paul over at LangFocus
runs a channel that I often turn to for motivation to keep studying, or to consider picking up a language I never thought about. (Looking at you, Hungarian... Thanks Paul!)
Podcasts can be a huge help for motivation and learning. There are too many good podcasts to list here, and there are other good lists out there.
Find a side project to focus on for a little bit. I plan on learning Toki Pona at some point here. Toki Pona is a constructed language that has only 120 words. This can help train instincts related to talking around a word you have forgotten. There is no word for "car" is Toki Pona, so how do you talk about a car without a word for it? It's a great skill to have in your pocket when you forget the French word for a dog's tail. "You know that thing on the back of a dog that goes wag wag? What's that called?"
Now for the bit I have to put in here because I really believe it, but it's risky.
If you try and try to get back into it, and its just not working... Maybe you need to try something new. Find a new language that catches your excitement. Just be careful that you don't come to this step wantonly. I will never encourage anyone to give up, but there is a time when the spark just isn't there and you need to move on. Don't give up on languages, just find the one that catches you now. Take a refresher lesson in your old target language every few weeks or months. Don't give up, just shift your focus.
Coming back from an extended break can be rough, I know because I am going through it right now. However because I am in the same boat as you are right now, I can say with certainty that You Can Do It! You can get back on the path and you can learn this language! I believe in you! Keep up the good work folks and keep yourselves motivated!